Questionable human ingenuity at work...
Weirdo Product
ONION RING MINTS
For those special times when you want to send a shot of hot onion breath
down that lucky someones neck. These savory mints taste just like a side
order of deep fried onion rings. Delicious on their own, but even better when
combined with some Ranch Mints.
Each 2-1/4" round tin contains one hundred mints. $2.50
For those special times when you want to send a shot of hot onion breath
down that lucky someones neck. These savory mints taste just like a side
order of deep fried onion rings. Delicious on their own, but even better when
combined with some Ranch Mints.
Each 2-1/4" round tin contains one hundred mints. $2.50
GARLIC MINTS
Nothing quietly says "hello" to another person like hot garlic breath
breathing in their face or down their neck. I love garlic as much as the next
joe, but I sure don't need a mint to drive the point home. These might be
the perfect repellent for all of those Twilight and First Blood oddballs
though, wouldn't it?
Runs you about $3 bucks for a tin. Good luck, garlic face
Nothing quietly says "hello" to another person like hot garlic breath
breathing in their face or down their neck. I love garlic as much as the next
joe, but I sure don't need a mint to drive the point home. These might be
the perfect repellent for all of those Twilight and First Blood oddballs
though, wouldn't it?
Runs you about $3 bucks for a tin. Good luck, garlic face
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CAT WIGS
Yes now you too can dress up your cat like a space age club queen and
take her out on the town. No longer will your cat scowl at you because of
her boring haircut. I would imagine that after trying on one or two wigs,
most cats would of had enough and just go crazy with the scratching. I
know I would. $50 a pop.
Yes now you too can dress up your cat like a space age club queen and
take her out on the town. No longer will your cat scowl at you because of
her boring haircut. I would imagine that after trying on one or two wigs,
most cats would of had enough and just go crazy with the scratching. I
know I would. $50 a pop.
BACON BELT
If you keep eating BBMBs (Bacon, Bacon and more Bacon sandwiches)
like that, you are definitely going to need a bigger belt. This soft vinyl
Bacon Belt with metal buckle fits waist sizes 30" to 40" which should give
you ample room to grow out your bacon belly. Isn’t it time you celebrated
your girth with a belt that’s deserving of its place around your midsection?
The perfect gift for the fashionable meat lover. Only $25 a pop.
If you keep eating BBMBs (Bacon, Bacon and more Bacon sandwiches)
like that, you are definitely going to need a bigger belt. This soft vinyl
Bacon Belt with metal buckle fits waist sizes 30" to 40" which should give
you ample room to grow out your bacon belly. Isn’t it time you celebrated
your girth with a belt that’s deserving of its place around your midsection?
The perfect gift for the fashionable meat lover. Only $25 a pop.
SPLAT PIG
Yes, this product is called Splat Pig. And, as the name implies, it's a pig
that splats. More specifically, YOU splat it by hurling it against a wall or
table or bathroom stall. Why would you want to do this? Who knows.
When the Splat Pig hits the surface, it splats out into a shapeless mass.
But, remarkably, as hard as you throw it, it eventually comes back to
looking like a pig.
"So this is my life... I work at the Splat Pig factory." Better yet, you invented
this. This is your claim to fame.
Only $5 a pop.
Yes, this product is called Splat Pig. And, as the name implies, it's a pig
that splats. More specifically, YOU splat it by hurling it against a wall or
table or bathroom stall. Why would you want to do this? Who knows.
When the Splat Pig hits the surface, it splats out into a shapeless mass.
But, remarkably, as hard as you throw it, it eventually comes back to
looking like a pig.
"So this is my life... I work at the Splat Pig factory." Better yet, you invented
this. This is your claim to fame.
Only $5 a pop.
CARBON COPIES
Pencils made of Dead people???? Yes-- this idea is the brainchild of
designer Nadine Jarvis of the UK.
Carbon Copies are pencils made from the carbon of human cremated
remains. 240 pencils can be made from an average body of ash - a
lifetime supply of pencils for those left behind.
Each pencil is foil stamped with the name of the person. Only one pencil
can be removed at a time, it is then sharpened back into the box causing
the shavings to occupy the space of the used pencils. Over time the pencil
box fills with shavings - a new ash, transforming it into an urn. The
window acts as a tim eline, showing you the amount of pencils left as
time goes by.
Pencils made of Dead people???? Yes-- this idea is the brainchild of
designer Nadine Jarvis of the UK.
Carbon Copies are pencils made from the carbon of human cremated
remains. 240 pencils can be made from an average body of ash - a
lifetime supply of pencils for those left behind.
Each pencil is foil stamped with the name of the person. Only one pencil
can be removed at a time, it is then sharpened back into the box causing
the shavings to occupy the space of the used pencils. Over time the pencil
box fills with shavings - a new ash, transforming it into an urn. The
window acts as a tim eline, showing you the amount of pencils left as
time goes by.
WINKERS
These here jeans have painted on eyes that make your butt "wink" at people
from behind when you walk. Nice...
These two are my favorites so far.
These here jeans have painted on eyes that make your butt "wink" at people
from behind when you walk. Nice...
These two are my favorites so far.
PIZZA BOSS
For those men who really want their pizza cut in a loud and manly way.
Real men don't use wimpy dime-store pizza cutters. Show your pizza you
mean business with the Pizza Boss 3000. Watch it blast through pepperoni,
extra cheese, even those pesky anchovies.
It's built from tough industrial-grade plastics and the laser-etched stainless
steel blade has a removable shield for easy clean-up.
$18 bucks
For those men who really want their pizza cut in a loud and manly way.
Real men don't use wimpy dime-store pizza cutters. Show your pizza you
mean business with the Pizza Boss 3000. Watch it blast through pepperoni,
extra cheese, even those pesky anchovies.
It's built from tough industrial-grade plastics and the laser-etched stainless
steel blade has a removable shield for easy clean-up.
$18 bucks
MEAT CARDS
We start with 100% beef jerky, and SEAR your contact information into it with a
150 WATT CO2 LASER.
Screw die-cutting. Forget about foil, popups, or UV spot lamination. THESE
business cards have two ingredients:
MEAT AND LASERS.
Unlike other business cards, MEAT CARDS will retain value after the
econopocalypse. Hoard and barter your calorie-rich, life-sustaining cards.
MEAT CARDS do not fit in a Rolodex, because their deliciousness CANNOT BE
CONTAINED in a Rolodex.
We start with 100% beef jerky, and SEAR your contact information into it with a
150 WATT CO2 LASER.
Screw die-cutting. Forget about foil, popups, or UV spot lamination. THESE
business cards have two ingredients:
MEAT AND LASERS.
Unlike other business cards, MEAT CARDS will retain value after the
econopocalypse. Hoard and barter your calorie-rich, life-sustaining cards.
MEAT CARDS do not fit in a Rolodex, because their deliciousness CANNOT BE
CONTAINED in a Rolodex.
TAUN TAUN SLEEPING BAG
It started out as an April Fools joke, but as it happens with most of ThinkGeek's
pranks: People wanted the real thing. So after some pleading with Lucasfilm,
ThinkGeek got the blessings needed to bring us this Tauntaun sleeping bag
complete with a lightsaber zipper pull. And whether it mimics that Tauntaun
smell or not, I'd definitely rather spend $100 on this sleeping bag than try to
make my own.
So assuming you're the kid who gets one of these next Christmas. Do you grow
up more damaged because (a) your parents actually thought it was cool that
you sleep in a bag of simulated tauntaun intestines, or (b) yeah... your parents
are that Star Wars freaky?
It started out as an April Fools joke, but as it happens with most of ThinkGeek's
pranks: People wanted the real thing. So after some pleading with Lucasfilm,
ThinkGeek got the blessings needed to bring us this Tauntaun sleeping bag
complete with a lightsaber zipper pull. And whether it mimics that Tauntaun
smell or not, I'd definitely rather spend $100 on this sleeping bag than try to
make my own.
So assuming you're the kid who gets one of these next Christmas. Do you grow
up more damaged because (a) your parents actually thought it was cool that
you sleep in a bag of simulated tauntaun intestines, or (b) yeah... your parents
are that Star Wars freaky?
CORNDOG LIP BALM
This luscious lip balm will keep your lips plump and moist just like a hot dog
inside that delicious fried corn bread batter! Great for friends who love
frankfurters. Each tube is 2-1/2" long with a twist bottom dispenser.
This luscious lip balm will keep your lips plump and moist just like a hot dog
inside that delicious fried corn bread batter! Great for friends who love
frankfurters. Each tube is 2-1/2" long with a twist bottom dispenser.
CHUM BUCKET Fish Flavored Chum Mints
We would never suggest you take a few of these Chum Bucket brand fish
flavored mints and slip them into a friend's Altoids tin (better not be Mr Juul's) >:[.
But if you did, the next time they tried to freshen their breath with minty goodness
they'd get the lingering taste and aroma of fish guts instead! Perfect for
fishermen and aquarium enthusiasts. Each 2-1/4" tall tin contains one hundred
and twenty mints.
We would never suggest you take a few of these Chum Bucket brand fish
flavored mints and slip them into a friend's Altoids tin (better not be Mr Juul's) >:[.
But if you did, the next time they tried to freshen their breath with minty goodness
they'd get the lingering taste and aroma of fish guts instead! Perfect for
fishermen and aquarium enthusiasts. Each 2-1/4" tall tin contains one hundred
and twenty mints.
ARMADILLO HANDBAG
Accessorize your wardrobe with the allure of armadillo. This 13'' long stuffed
Armadillo Handbag is made of cloth and has a handy zipper pouch in its back for
storing all your essentials. Whether you take it to the opera or the zoo, you're
sure to be the envy of anyone who really likes armadillos. $17.00
Accessorize your wardrobe with the allure of armadillo. This 13'' long stuffed
Armadillo Handbag is made of cloth and has a handy zipper pouch in its back for
storing all your essentials. Whether you take it to the opera or the zoo, you're
sure to be the envy of anyone who really likes armadillos. $17.00
COMFORT WIPE
For over a hundred years we've been using toilet tissues the same old way. Now
there's a better way with the extended reach and comfortable to use Comfort
Wipe™. It grabs and holds the toilet tissue in perfect positions so you can easily
wipe yourself. When you're done, just dispense the soiled tissue right in the
toilet with the press of a button. Comfort Wipe™ extends your reach a full 18"
while the anatomical design follows the contours of your body for perfect
cleaning. It's perfect for everyone, especially if you have trouble easily reaching
because of physical limitations such as bad shoulder or other mobility
limitations. Now you'll never have to touch a dirty toilet tissue! $19.95
For over a hundred years we've been using toilet tissues the same old way. Now
there's a better way with the extended reach and comfortable to use Comfort
Wipe™. It grabs and holds the toilet tissue in perfect positions so you can easily
wipe yourself. When you're done, just dispense the soiled tissue right in the
toilet with the press of a button. Comfort Wipe™ extends your reach a full 18"
while the anatomical design follows the contours of your body for perfect
cleaning. It's perfect for everyone, especially if you have trouble easily reaching
because of physical limitations such as bad shoulder or other mobility
limitations. Now you'll never have to touch a dirty toilet tissue! $19.95
MY CLEANING TROLLEY
Not to be confused with the "My Chimney Sweep" or "My Lil' Septic Sweeper"
play sets, the "My Cleaning Trolley" can put your youngster on the fast track to
being a professional maid, crime scene detective, horse pooh sweeper,
elementary school janitors, disgusted airline maintenance worker and other
jobs that require some serious elbow grease.
"A lil' moppin', a lil' wringing...some squeegeeing... and down you go..."
$49.95
Not to be confused with the "My Chimney Sweep" or "My Lil' Septic Sweeper"
play sets, the "My Cleaning Trolley" can put your youngster on the fast track to
being a professional maid, crime scene detective, horse pooh sweeper,
elementary school janitors, disgusted airline maintenance worker and other
jobs that require some serious elbow grease.
"A lil' moppin', a lil' wringing...some squeegeeing... and down you go..."
$49.95
POOTRAP
This requires absolutely no embellishment. The FAQ section of the product
says it all.
$29.95 - $38.95 for the trap and then a bunch more for 30 bags.
This requires absolutely no embellishment. The FAQ section of the product
says it all.
$29.95 - $38.95 for the trap and then a bunch more for 30 bags.
BIG SNARL TONGUE NECKLACE
This beefy giant is perfect for that person who has everything! Leather or
stainless chain can hang this on your chest. Stud it all you want and you’re
sure to be the winner. The Trophy is 6 inches long by 2 3/4 inches wide!
$298.00.
This beefy giant is perfect for that person who has everything! Leather or
stainless chain can hang this on your chest. Stud it all you want and you’re
sure to be the winner. The Trophy is 6 inches long by 2 3/4 inches wide!
$298.00.
SLIM CLIP
The origin of a money clip dates back to, oh, say, forever ago and has always
been a fringe way to carry money. Now we have this. Say, how much money
are YOU carrying in your pocket? Let's show everyone every time you need to
get a card or cash! Two clips on a twisted piece of crappy steel. Whooptie Do!
I love the commercial which shows frazzled morons not even able to navigate
the intricacies of a owning a wallet. Better yet, the woman who literally dumps
her entire purse of crap onto a table in disgust. Yes! Replace everything in
your purse with a simple steel clip device!
3 for $10
The origin of a money clip dates back to, oh, say, forever ago and has always
been a fringe way to carry money. Now we have this. Say, how much money
are YOU carrying in your pocket? Let's show everyone every time you need to
get a card or cash! Two clips on a twisted piece of crappy steel. Whooptie Do!
I love the commercial which shows frazzled morons not even able to navigate
the intricacies of a owning a wallet. Better yet, the woman who literally dumps
her entire purse of crap onto a table in disgust. Yes! Replace everything in
your purse with a simple steel clip device!
3 for $10
THE HAWAII CHAIR
"If you can sit, you can get fit."...
Take the work out of your workout with... the Hawaii Chair or Hula Chair. This
clothes dryer in chair form stands to be seen as one of the dumbest looking
inventions since Suzanne Somers Thighmaster. It does all the work for you.
I love the examples of using it while at work... while on the phone... while
washing your pet... while putting up drywall... It's 'sposed to work your
midsection. This looks like a chiropractors dreeaam.
$299.00
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1798739
"If you can sit, you can get fit."...
Take the work out of your workout with... the Hawaii Chair or Hula Chair. This
clothes dryer in chair form stands to be seen as one of the dumbest looking
inventions since Suzanne Somers Thighmaster. It does all the work for you.
I love the examples of using it while at work... while on the phone... while
washing your pet... while putting up drywall... It's 'sposed to work your
midsection. This looks like a chiropractors dreeaam.
$299.00
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1798739
BUCK, THE ANIMATED SINGING TROPHY DEER HEAD
Buck, the Animated Trophy Deer is sure to get a rouse when passersby see it proudly
mounted on the wall. His head moves from side to side/up and down, his mouth
moves in synchromotion to six songs, 12 sayings or your voice, and his ears twitch.
Includes microphone and remote control.
Buck the Animated, Singing Trophy Deer
* A whitetail deer with a 10-point symmetrical rack
* His ears twitch, his head moves up and down and side to side, and his mouth moves
in synchromotion to six songs, 12 sayings or your voice
* Songs include: "Rawhide," "Sweet Home Alabama," "Friends in Low Places,"
"Suspicious Minds," "On the Road Again" and "La Grange"
Runs about "$100 bucks"
Buck, the Animated Trophy Deer is sure to get a rouse when passersby see it proudly
mounted on the wall. His head moves from side to side/up and down, his mouth
moves in synchromotion to six songs, 12 sayings or your voice, and his ears twitch.
Includes microphone and remote control.
Buck the Animated, Singing Trophy Deer
* A whitetail deer with a 10-point symmetrical rack
* His ears twitch, his head moves up and down and side to side, and his mouth moves
in synchromotion to six songs, 12 sayings or your voice
* Songs include: "Rawhide," "Sweet Home Alabama," "Friends in Low Places,"
"Suspicious Minds," "On the Road Again" and "La Grange"
Runs about "$100 bucks"
DARTH VADER Alarm Clock
It's hard to believe that Star Wars is more than 30 years old and people are still finding
crappy ways to license merchandise. The Darth Vader Alarm Clock Radio booms
orders to wake yourself in the voice of James Earl Jones and displays the time with
menacing red LEDs shining from the Dark Lord’s eyes. But obviously that doesn’t
matter. This is the head of a decapitated Sith Lord on your nightstand, and you can be
sure it will find your lack of wakefulness disturbing. I would rather have a b'ougar, but
that's just me.
Of course, the maker, Sakar, shouldn’t be too proud of this technological terror it’s
constructed. The ability to wake a person is insignificant next to the power of the Force.
And wake him it will. Along with Vader’s baritones are a radio and a jack for an MP3
player to tempt you back from the Dark Side.
It's hard to believe that Star Wars is more than 30 years old and people are still finding
crappy ways to license merchandise. The Darth Vader Alarm Clock Radio booms
orders to wake yourself in the voice of James Earl Jones and displays the time with
menacing red LEDs shining from the Dark Lord’s eyes. But obviously that doesn’t
matter. This is the head of a decapitated Sith Lord on your nightstand, and you can be
sure it will find your lack of wakefulness disturbing. I would rather have a b'ougar, but
that's just me.
Of course, the maker, Sakar, shouldn’t be too proud of this technological terror it’s
constructed. The ability to wake a person is insignificant next to the power of the Force.
And wake him it will. Along with Vader’s baritones are a radio and a jack for an MP3
player to tempt you back from the Dark Side.
SEASON SHOT AMMO
Season Shot is made of tightly packed seasoning bound by a fully biodegradable food
product. The seasoning is actually injected into the bird on impact seasoning the meat
from the inside out. When the bird is cooked the seasoning pellets melt into the meat
spreading the flavor to the entire bird. Forget worrying about shot breaking your teeth
and start wondering about which flavor shot to use!
Season Shot is made of tightly packed seasoning bound by a fully biodegradable food
product. The seasoning is actually injected into the bird on impact seasoning the meat
from the inside out. When the bird is cooked the seasoning pellets melt into the meat
spreading the flavor to the entire bird. Forget worrying about shot breaking your teeth
and start wondering about which flavor shot to use!
THE DRIB
I need one of these. I don't even bother to try and keep food off of my shirt when I eat out
anymore. In fact, I prefer to just dob whatever I'm eating onto my shirt at chest level and
just go ahead and pre-stain myself. Are all of your shirts stained because you have the
same kind of eating disorder? $20. Comes in junior sizes. I guess it's meant to keep in
your car.
From the website:
"The Drib allows those living an on-the-go lifestyle to arrive at their destinations stain free"
I need one of these. I don't even bother to try and keep food off of my shirt when I eat out
anymore. In fact, I prefer to just dob whatever I'm eating onto my shirt at chest level and
just go ahead and pre-stain myself. Are all of your shirts stained because you have the
same kind of eating disorder? $20. Comes in junior sizes. I guess it's meant to keep in
your car.
From the website:
"The Drib allows those living an on-the-go lifestyle to arrive at their destinations stain free"
WINE GLASS NECKLACE
This one’s pretty useful, especially if you tend to gesture wildly while holding a glass of
wine. It also frees up both hands for snacking on chips or bread, though the crumbs will
undoubtedly end up floating in your glass.
Try having a normal conversation with a huge glass of wine hanging around your neck.
$20.00
This one’s pretty useful, especially if you tend to gesture wildly while holding a glass of
wine. It also frees up both hands for snacking on chips or bread, though the crumbs will
undoubtedly end up floating in your glass.
Try having a normal conversation with a huge glass of wine hanging around your neck.
$20.00
BOYFRIEND ARM PILLOW
Product Features :
* Boyfriend pillow provides firm sleeping support
* Boyfriend pillow includes a removable microfiber shirt for easy care. And the pillow is filled with polyester.
* Use the pillow as a body pillow; as a neckroll; unique pillow shape; great for snuggling
* Machine washable
* Boyfriend pillow body measures 22 by 9 inches and the arm 36 inches
* Boyfriend pillow does not have body odor.
* Boyfriend pillow will not slap you around or try to date your friends
* Boyfriend pillow only leaves when you say so.
* Boyfriend pillow loves you all of the time, not just some of the time.
* Available for guys as well!
Product Features :
* Boyfriend pillow provides firm sleeping support
* Boyfriend pillow includes a removable microfiber shirt for easy care. And the pillow is filled with polyester.
* Use the pillow as a body pillow; as a neckroll; unique pillow shape; great for snuggling
* Machine washable
* Boyfriend pillow body measures 22 by 9 inches and the arm 36 inches
* Boyfriend pillow does not have body odor.
* Boyfriend pillow will not slap you around or try to date your friends
* Boyfriend pillow only leaves when you say so.
* Boyfriend pillow loves you all of the time, not just some of the time.
* Available for guys as well!
BUILD IT YOURSELF MEAT HOUSE
What child doesn't imagine a house made of meat during the holidays? Our bestselling Hot Dog
Hideaway kit comes with enough cured deli slices and kosher dogs (Over 10 pounds!) to make a
veritable McMansion of meat! Just follow the included blueprints and use the pate' spackle to join
it together and smooth over the rough edges. Not only will you get the complete Hot Dog
Hideaway, but also a set of meat landscaping materials to make pimento loaf trees and meatball
bushes.
Only $79 smackersl!
PS: Meat only remains edible for up to three weeks without proper refrigeration
What child doesn't imagine a house made of meat during the holidays? Our bestselling Hot Dog
Hideaway kit comes with enough cured deli slices and kosher dogs (Over 10 pounds!) to make a
veritable McMansion of meat! Just follow the included blueprints and use the pate' spackle to join
it together and smooth over the rough edges. Not only will you get the complete Hot Dog
Hideaway, but also a set of meat landscaping materials to make pimento loaf trees and meatball
bushes.
Only $79 smackersl!
PS: Meat only remains edible for up to three weeks without proper refrigeration
